Monday, April 4, 2011

Top 5 Loneliest Lovers (and their loves)

The 90's brought us some killer couples that were meant to last: Corey and Topanga, Jesse and Becky, Zack and Kelly. It seems love was abundant, but not for all. There were also the iconic characters who were hopelessly in love with someone that did not love them back. While sad, these one-sided relationships brought laughs, entertainment, and fulfillment to the viewers, while betas slowly died inside. Here are my top 5 loneliest lovers (and their loves).

5. Jazz (and Hillary Banks)


Hillary was your prototypical Bel-Air woman when it came to things she looked for in a man: wealth and good looks. Jazz had neither. Throughout the duration of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Jazz's love for Hillary was often brought up through the use of jokes and one-liners. The gag was that Hillary found Jazz completely repulsive, yet, Jazz found her to be amazing. One memorable moment between the two was when Hillary asked her boyfriend to take of his glasses, and Jazz responded by taking off his. That's the kind of relationship it was, not serious, not ever really developed, but just used as a joke, which is the same way Hillary viewed Jazz so perhaps it is best left at that. 

4. Steve Urkel (and Laura Winslow.)



If you follow 90's sitcoms, Steve Urkel's love for Laura is one of the most memorable one-sided relationships in all of television. Spanning over seven seasons, it clocks in as the longest relationship on this list. Urkel's love was a continuously running gag in nearly every episode, and many of Steve's inventions were aimed at getting Laura to like him. Perhaps the most effective was the creation of a "cool juice" that Steve would drink that transformed him in Stefan: a cool, suave, and sophisticated version of Steve. Laura falls in love with Stefan, and even tries to make it so he cannot transform back into Urkel, though he eventually does. Later in the series, Steve accidentally clones himself, and one of the clones transforms into Stefan permanently. The new Stefan proposes to Laura, but she rejects him. The reason being? She finally realizes she is in love with Steve after all these years, which is the reason this duo is not higher on the list.

 3. Kyra Rockmore (and Kel Kimble.)



Though most of Kenan's family (especially his father) may have found Kel to be more than just a little annoying, Kyra was absolutely in love with him. She seemingly overlooked his odd characteristics and lack of attention span, and found him to be a strong, older, attractive man. Kel usually tried to avoid Kyra, as he was a couple of years older and found the situation to be awkward. Kenan did not want any of it either, and often tried to distance Kel from his sister, though on more than one occasion Kenan used Kyra's love to get out of trouble. It seemed to be a non existent relationship unless there was something to benefit from it. Kyra slowly drifted away from the show, and was mostly absent on the last two seasons. For better or worse, the two were never meant to be, and never ended up together, regardless of how much Kyra wanted Kel.

 2. Screech Powers (and Lisa Turtle.)


Screech was always destined to be with Lisa Turtle, at least in his mind. From the beginning of Saved by the Bell to the end of the series, Screech was always asking Lisa out on dates, and she was always replying with a strong and resound no. In one episode, it is suggested that Screech had been asking out Lisa since the two were in kindergarten together. It does make sense why Lisa would always say no, they were completely opposites: she was a materialistic socialite who loved shopping and hot boys and Screech was a goofy nerd that had real no social skills. It would never have worked out. Though to be fair, Lisa did go on a single date with Screech and they also went to senior prom together, but both were out of pity on Lisa's part and nothing ever materialized from them.

1. Bud Bundy (and Everyone Else.)


Bud Bundy was bad with women, historically bad. He was awkward, a perv, short, not good looking, a nerd, socially inept, a loser and, most of all, a Bundy. Throughout the eleven season of Married... with Children, Bud has failed with too many women to count. He usually gets over the pain of being alone by masturbating, which doesn't help his case. To overcome his failures with women, Bud creates a gangster rapper persona named Grandmaster B who wears a backwards Raiders hat and sunglasses. That is how bad he is with women, I do not need to say more.

47 comments:

  1. haha this made me laugh and nostalgia
    followed

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  2. Hah, this is great stuff... Urkel =D good times man... good times...

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  3. Excellent post man! Was a really interesting read! thanks for sharing!

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  4. lol poor bud, just needed to bust a nut

    bigunicorn.blogspot.com

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  5. Nice post, I like the mix of content you have

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  6. That was funny haha love the list!

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  7. So many great 90's TV shows. I forgot all about Kel's love affair!

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  8. This is so true, and I never realized! Thanks for posting this!

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  9. These guys are awfully bad with women, lol.

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  10. lol, i never realized there were a lot of love teams in those comoedies. i nostalgiad hard, thanks. :D

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  11. That was interesting to know. Nice blog!

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  12. oh man thanks for bringing me back

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  13. OMG i use to watch this with my sister!! haha so long ago!

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  14. nostalgia. wow. the bud bundy bit made me laugh!

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  15. lol at Jazz. loved prince of bel air.

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  16. Oh man I love the 90's, good blog +1

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  17. hahaha classics.

    Have you seen the actor that played Erkle today? NOT AT ALL THE SAME GUY HOLY SHIT

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  18. Aw man, number 3 hits me the most as that was the show I watched while growing up. Man, I miss it.

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  19. Great list, reminds me of something I might read on Cracked. Keep up the good work.

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  20. Talk about nostalgia! Steve Urkel. :P

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  21. Screech and Jazz will forever be the two loneliness lovers in my eyes. Haha, I loved watching those shows when I was younger. What has happened to tv? :(

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  22. Bud does take spot number one. Jazz has to take the award for best exit, though. Being thrown out by Phil.

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  23. made me laugh
    thanks for sharing ^__^

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  24. This theme was used way too often in 90s shows. Still funny though.

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  25. Bud bundy is awesome, I've loved the show.

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  26. haha this is great man, btw i accidentally deleted your comment on my last blog post... sorry!

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  27. Have you seen the guy who played Urkel as he is now? xD

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  28. oh man, jazz was the fucking man.

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  29. jazz was the loneliest guy on earth. remember how they used the same footage of him getting kicked out every time?

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  30. looking forward to more 90's lists!
    +follow

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  31. haha thats just awesome! thanks for letting me read this :]

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  32. lol awesome post, really funny :P & TRUE!

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